Tom Cruise Appreciation Day

Finally! I thought this day would never come. Luckily the folks at the Today show on Channel 9 have recognised the awesome talent of this genius actor and given him the acknowledgment he deserves.
Every day should be Tom Cruise appreciation day. I don’t know why anyone didn’t think of it before! I mean, the guy’s [...]

Sucks to be Farrah…

Poor old Farrah Fawcett. After a long and public battle with cancer and the release of a dramatic, last-rites-the-end-is-nigh-any-minute-now, I’m-on-my-deathbed photo only to have Michael Jackson steal her thunder at the final hour!
I wonder what would have happened if Princess Diana, Elvis and Michael Jackson all died on the same day. The Internet would explode. [...]

Top Ten Psychics Awards

I love psychics. They’re so entertaining. They’re also full of shit. So here, ranked not according to any real or imagined ability but rather for their incredible audacity to spout absolute bullshit, is the ultimate guide to People Who Are More Than Willing to Relieve You of Your Cash in Return for Nothing. They [...]

Kylie Kwong Got It Wong

TV Chef, Kylie Kwong, has revealed that her book, My China: A Feast for all the Senses, published in 2007, was actually a misprint and was never intended to be released as a mainstream Chinese cookbook. Speaking exclusively to Good Luck with All That, Kylie revealed that the book was originally intended to be titled [...]

Tom Cruise Set to Play Lead in the Film of the Century

Hot News Direct from Hollywood:

Scientologist, couch-jockey, and all-round nut job Tom Cruise has revealed he will play the role of L.Ron Hubbard in the upcoming film The Thetan Keeps Repeatin’ which is based on the life and work of the founding father of the Church of Scientology.
“I’m just ectastic that this opportunity has been handed [...]

Bulgaria, Bulge Area

Bulgaria — home of the Cyrillic alphabet, the Gradeshnitsa Tablets, nine World Heritage sites, and this freak:

Meet Azis, Bulgaria’s foremost gender-bending folk pop singer and failed political candidate, who recently gained notoriety in the gay global arena for his expansion in the wedding tackle department.
Put simply, Azis is a big fat ponce with a huge [...]

The Sexual Orientation of Chefs

When browsing through the blog search terms yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice the large number of people trying to figure out if Kylie Kwong is gay. (I love how people ask Google a direct question. It is the Great Oracle after all; a kind of virtual magic 8-ball.)
Over the last two weeks I kept [...]

Cruise the Crackpot Christ

Mentally defective Hollywood actor, Tom Cruise, has been hailed as the “New Christ” by the kooks running the Scientology caper. Cruise has been with the religion since the ’80s and is now a high-ranking official in the church.
“Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure. Just like Christ he has been criticised for his [...]

Nicole Richie Thanks Inventor

Nicole Richie has publicly thanked inventor Thomas Edison for indirectly contributing to her inheritance. Lionel Richie has also thanked Edison, for without Edison’s genius he would not have had the 1984 hit single Hello.

Edison, who was one of the most prolific inventors of the 19th and 20th Centuries, came up with the word [...]

The Church of Satan

If you’re in the market for a religion you may wish to consider The Church of Satan.

Invented at a party by Anton LaVey in 1966, The Church of Satan is a relatively new religion that bases its beliefs on the mythological and cultural concepts of the figure of Satan. Anton figured that everybody else* had [...]

Ted Exits The Hershey Highway

Ted’s no longer gay! He’s been cured!
After three weeks of reparative therapy and some good ol’ prayin’ to Jesus, the wayward pastor has had his “mentally defective” gayness cast out of him.
According to his buddy, Rev.Tim Ralph, “He is completely heterosexual. That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things [...]

Derek Acorah – Professional Fruitcake

TV psychic and all-round nut job, Derek Acorah is a medium (or is that a large) whose theatrics would put the best of WWE to shame. As he travels around the UK in his enormous Ghost Truck searching for haunted locations full of unsettled spirits to connect with, Derek can’t resist an opportunity for [...]

The Alternative Universe of Posh Spice

(Or what would have happened if she hadn’t married Becks)
14 Jan 2007
Dear Diary,
Today I noticed Spice Girls’ records in the bargain bin at the local CD store selling for 50p each! I was horrified beyond belief! I quickly stuffed them into my imitation Louis Vuitton tote but the security guard saw me and asked [...]

Kip Dynamite

The Man
Possibly one of the greatest paragons of nerd-makes-good in modern times, Kipland Ronald Dynamite is a poet, Tupperware salesman and husband to LaFawnduh. In training to be a cage fighter, Kip lived with his Grandma until he was, like, 32 years old. There he whiled away the hours chatting to babes online and eating [...]

This Cock Has Crowed

Russell Crowe had his head on Sixty Minutes tonight trying to let the rest of us in on what makes him such a fuckwit. And he pulled it off brilliantly.
When asked about the infamous telephone incident Rusty responded with this little gem of wisdom: ‘Where I come from, a confrontation like that, as basic and [...]