Dear Agony Aunt,
I have a terrible secret and need to tell someone because otherwise I don’t know what I’ll do. You see I’ve been married to my husband for 18 months and I think he is already losing interest in me. Then I did something terrible. I told him I was pregnant so he would stay with me. He thinks I’m only three months and got really excited about being married again and the baby and everything. Soon he will know that there is no baby and I can’t pretend to have a miscarriage because it means going to the hospital. I thought about eating more and more so I put on weight until I can come up with a solution. Please help me. I’m desperate!! T.P.
Oh come on. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
Here’s an idea for you. Go to the local toy shop and buy a plastic baby like the one in the photo. Then go home and treat it like it’s a real baby by breast feeding it and changing its nappy and singing it to sleep. When your husband asks you what the hell you are doing look at him like he’s the one who’s crazy. Eventually he’ll have you committed to the psyche ward. Which is where you belong.
Like this:
Tags: Agony Aunt, problem page
you make me laugh. that’s a favor. we should thank people who do us favors. thank you.
but my comments are not immoderate. ever. are they?
Hahahahahhahaha… Bloody hell, was this person real??