Ted’s no longer gay! He’s been cured!
After three weeks of reparative therapy and some good ol’ prayin’ to Jesus, the wayward pastor has had his “mentally defective” gayness cast out of him.
According to his buddy, Rev.Tim Ralph, “He is completely heterosexual. That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing.”
Phew! Ted only had temporary gayness.
The prodigal pastor and his delusional loving wife now plan to pursue his and hers Master’s Degrees in Psychology via a correspondence course.
So good ol’ pastor Ted has hit the trifecta of fuckwittedness:
- He believes in god
- His temporary gayness has been cured
- He thinks you can get a Master’s Degree in Psychology over the Internet.
Good luck with all that.
3 Comments
Monday, February 19, 2007 at 3:51 am
If he is ‘cured’ why doesn’t the church he helped to found want him back? Instead a nice little payout was made and now Haggard will move elsewhere, thinking he’ll no longer be under the microscope.
But like John Paulk, we’ll see Haggard stopping in to a gay bar just to get a soft drink, or take a piss.
And hopefully another righteous gay man will out Haggard once again.
Monday, February 19, 2007 at 8:10 am
I can’t wait. Out him boys!
Monday, February 19, 2007 at 2:32 pm
I think that there should should be a Ted Haggard float at the next Gay & Lesbian mardi gras.