When the world is dominated by Islam and non-muslims have bred themselves out of existence, we girls will be forced to observe hijab. Put simply, this means that we have to cover ourselves up, for the following reasons, as stipulated in the Qur’an (and we all know how much the muslims love to take things literally):
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the believing women to cast their jalaabeeb over themselves. That will be better, that they should be known, so as not to be bothered. “
And:
“… they must cover their heads and faces so that they may be known as free women.”
This is referring to slavery. That’s right. Slavery. Muslim women were to distinguish themselves from all the slaves getting around town. As slavery has long since been abolished, muslim women are now told to still wear their elaborate ensembles so as to show their superiority to the rest of us . Whatever.
I love the irony of the last part of the above quote, “so that they may be known as free women.”
Yeah, that’s exactly how we see you.
Another reason for the wearing of this delightful garb is to “…strive to maintain the woman’s honor, nobility and chastity, by having her veil herself from the eyes of the wolves among mankind–those with unfaithful personalities and vile intentions, who love to bask in the forbidden even if it is one glance.”
I think they’re referring to muslim men with that statement.
And there’ll be no perfume or make-up either, thank you very much.
“Verily, when a woman perfumes herself and then passes by a group of people such that they can smell her, she is a fornicator. “
Out with the Chanel No.5.
So here’s a brief rundown of what will be expected of you under Sha’ria law:
If it’s a full-on Taliban-style dictatorship we’re living under, you must wear the burqa. This garment completely covers everything. There’s even a little lacy flap that covers your eyes. How charming.
It only comes in a large.
If we’re living under a more liberal regime, we will be much better off and only have to get around in what’s known as a niqab.
This is quite a liberating garment and allows the wearer some of the more basic human rights such as… um…the ability to see.
Last, but by no means least, is the plain old headscarf, officially known as a khimar. This seems to be the most popular choice and can be found in a variety of colours to suit every occasion.
Don’t know what they’re crying about. Must be a bad hair day.
But for those of you who want to show a bit of personal style you can opt for something a bit more elaborate, as modelled by Posh Spice.
or even this
Hang on a minute! That’s not kosher halal hijab… What about modesty and honor? What about the wolves? The vile intentions? No, no, no. This won’t do. They’ll be a good stoning for you, young lady, when you get home tonight. And I’m not talking about the crack pipe.
Outrageous.
Moving right along. If you have a sewing machine, you can find a nice pattern for constucting a burqa here. But if you’re lacking in any dressmaking skills, not to worry, you can just do as they do in Iraq and “throw a sheet over your head and clasp it at the neck”.
“But what about when I want to go swimming?” I hear you cry. Well, they’ve already started closing the public pools for muslim women so you can just wear your regular cossie because the wolves aren’t allowed in, but if you want to go to the beach you can always get yourself one of these
a burqini.
I don’t imagine we’ll be allowed to go swimming though. We’ll be too busy breeding.
23 Comments
Tuesday, February 6, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Nice article. I am sure Michelle Leslie would be able to tell you how to wear a hijab if you are ever caught with ecstasy in Bali.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007 at 12:51 am
Burqini. Ha Ha.
Saturday, February 10, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Claudia, claudia , claudia…
you are very intelligent indeed.
Sunday, February 11, 2007 at 9:40 am
Nur, nur, nur…
thank you very much
Tuesday, February 20, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Peace,
I have read your article and I see that you have made some effort in the issue, yet I found that although you are trying to handle this issue intelligently and wisely, and even getting a translation and some pictures as evidence, although you did that, you were misinformed by the translation you used, or may be the translator’s concept, and of course, misled by some Muslim practices rather than Islam’s error, then you have built your article on this understanding. If you bare with me, I might be able to help you get a better view of the issue. First, I am here quoting some translations of the same verses you mentioned.
Yusuf Ali translation:
33:59
O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Pickthal translation:
33:59
O Prophet! Tell thy wives and thy daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.
Palmer translation:
33:59
O thou prophet! tell thy wives and thy daughters, and the women of the believers, to let down over them their outer wrappers; that is nearer for them to be known and that they should not be annoyed; but God is forgiving, merciful.
Briefly, the original Arabic words are “ yodneen alayhen galabeebehen”, the word “galabeeb” is the plural of “gelbab” which is a dress or a garment, “galabeebehen” means “their garments”, and “alayhen” can mean something like “to them” or “on them”, as for the first word, and as you might have noticed, different translations are striving to find a corresponding word to the original Arabic word mentioned in the Qur’an, “yodneen” which can imply the verb “to lower” and “to make closer”.
The problem lies in the concept of the translator, would he choose to find a corresponding word to the Arabic “word”, or would he find a word corresponding to the “meaning” that “he” understood from the Arabic verse, and here lies the great dilemma of translation, first, Arabic is not an easy language, and its vocabulary can be many times as much as any other language, with each word having its specific complex meaning, so the English language does not have an equivalent word to every Arabic one and hence cannot fully demonstrate the Arabic meanings.
The second problem, is that certain side issues in Islam, have minor controversial explanations and interpretations, this is one of them, most of the great Islamic scholars understood this verse as to describe a long non-exposing dress, and do not see in it an order to cover the face, a minority sees the opposite, and that the verse means to cover the whole body including the face, which actually contradicts other documented Islamic sources that assure that women during the Prophet Muhammad’s time (may peace and blessings be upon him) were not covering there faces, only wearing decent long clothes that cover their body and their hair. Back to the translation method, if the translator believes in the second opinion and sees no English word exactly corresponding to the Arabic one, he may choose to translate his “understanding” and his “opinion” of the verse, and that’s a major issue in the constant misunderstanding of the veil issue in Islam.
You might have noticed also that there are no “wolves” in the verse !! And these three translations understood the original Arabic word as to be “recognised “or “known”, which implies to be known as decent or pious, to be known as non-promiscuous; due to the prior-to-Islam Arabic situation where prostitution and adultery were very common and had many forms, hence God asks women to make a prominent different decent appearance.
The verse does not mention any word meaning “free women” or “slaves”, the translator used “his” understanding to clarify what “he” thought the meaning was, you may find “free women” or “slaves” mentioned in some explanation of the verse, but NOT in the Arabic text as your quoted translation implies, and more than that, even the scholars who previously “explained” this verse as that “decent women should be known from slaves” were referring to a real situation that was present at that time; that many slave women were seducing and inviting men to have sex with them, and hence these scholars understood the verse as to tell pious women that they should make a different decent appearance that they are to be known and recognised with, so that they are not thought of in a wrong way or treated in a wrong way and hence harassed by impious men.
And by the way, slavery was handled wisely by Islam, and though deeply rooted in the preislamic culture for ages, Islam gradually totally rooted it out.
As for the other verse related to the veil:
Pickthal translation
24:31
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands……
Palmer translation
24:31
And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private
parts, and display not their ornaments, except those which are outside; and let them pull
their kerchiefs over their bosoms and not display their ornaments save to their husbands…..
Yusuf Ali translation
24:31
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands…..
The same applies to this verse, God asks women to be polite in how they look to others, and to draw their veils/pull their kerchiefs over their bosoms; the common dominant understanding that almost all major scholars agree upon is that the headscarf should naturally extend from the side of the head to the side of the face and ears to the side of the neck to below the chin to the neck’s front and down till the the chest to cover the bosom or the breasts and the part above them (including cleavage and neck); obviously, the common understanding is to spare the face from the covering, yet, some minority insist that the headscarf should come from “above” the head to the front of the face to the chest, which is seen by the other group as totally illogical, since the verse does not say that and since women at the prophet’s era did not do that, and since she will not be able to see.
Finally, it is unfortunate that Islam is so misunderstood, and that some Muslims present a very bad model, so I don’t blame you for your view, I just hope I made it clearer for you. That’s the religious opinion that I endorse and adhere to, me like the majority of Islamic scholars and Muslims, as for my personal opinion you might find my article “Naked in a Different Color” interesting.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007 at 7:13 pm
[...] Posted in Religion at 11:13 am by Vi§ion This article was originally posted in reply to “What Not To Wear. [...]
Tuesday, February 20, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Thank you for your interesting and informative response. It’s refreshing to hear this discussed in an educated and rational way. I guess it all comes down to which translation you use and ultimately whether a woman feels she needs to observe hijab or not. I believe she should always be given the choice.
Peace to you also.
Thursday, February 22, 2007 at 4:59 pm
I appreciate your patience and tolerance to read my long post. As to your reply, I would just like to add that Islam is all about choice, and freedom of choice, where all Islam teaches its followers to fear only God and then fear nothing else and live freely.
Friday, February 23, 2007 at 12:43 am
If Islam is about choice then why can’t you leave it?
Monday, February 26, 2007 at 7:15 pm
You can !! Check this link:
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1119503548996&pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar%2FFatwaE%2FFatwaEAskTheScholar
Monday, February 26, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Islam online also says that in between saving lives and resuscitating people, Australian lifeguards (beach guards) started the Cronulla Riots.
Good luck believing in a lie.
News Flash! Allah is not real. He did not create the world. Muhammad was a liar. You are brainwashed. Full stop the end.
Thursday, March 1, 2007 at 1:14 am
Very scientific and logical indeed.
Saturday, March 10, 2007 at 2:06 am
[...] More reading on Burkinis here. [...]
Saturday, August 11, 2007 at 1:11 pm
I am an arabic christian… and allah means god!!!!! Idiot you just mocked christians by saying that too!
Saturday, August 11, 2007 at 3:09 pm
I don’t care what Allah means. It’s all made up and you’re the idiot for believing it.
Saturday, August 18, 2007 at 11:08 am
I’m Christian, but I have tons of female Muslim friends, and none of them are forced to wear the Hijab or anything else that extreme. Some choose to, others dress about the same as I do. Before making ignorant, caustic remarks such as this, maybe you should try talking to some actual Muslim women. You’d be surprised.
Yes, I disagree with the laws in certain countries (Saudi Arabia, for example) that enforce full coverage. Normally, Islamic women are simply supposed to be modest. For some, modesty means not wearing a hoochie skirt and having their tits hang out. For others, it means covering their head and dressing in jeans and a regular shirt. For some, it’s the whole shabang. If you don’t like it, don’t wear it, but don’t assume that every woman who dresses as such is repressed, because you’re sadly mistaken.
Saturday, August 18, 2007 at 1:50 pm
I am a practicing Muslim woman artist. I do not wear the hijab. Maybe I will wear it one day, God willing. I do find your stance to be one of anger than that of dialogue or investigation. If you think that Islam is what is shown on CNN, FOX, then darling… have fun with bliss!
All religions need to be lived in like a house before we aim to understand their message and teachings. If you cannot understand them, leave them be. Remember what happened to the Pygmies when white folk went to to visit them . They spread their bacteria and the Pygmies almost got extinct. Leave us be man… these days, us Muslims have a bloody hard time as it is.
Saturday, August 18, 2007 at 2:26 pm
“If you cannot understand them, leave them be. ”
See, this is the problem. How can I leave them be when they won’t leave me be.
Hope springs eternal that all religions will become extinct like the pygmies. Then humanity can get on with what’s really important, instead of fighting over a bunch of lies and fairytales.
Oh and if you read other comments and articles on this blog you will find that I actually DO have a very good understanding of religion. I don’t need to cover myself in shit to know that it’s going to stink. Thanks for your concern.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007 at 10:20 am
On a lighter note, here’s one for you all……
A muslin woman knocked on my door last night. I never opened the door, I just talked to her through the letter box to see how she liked it!!!
Thursday, September 20, 2007 at 4:34 am
that’s why it will never wor. Ondrej Manisha.
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Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 2:53 am
Women should wear hijab 4 their own will, not by forcing them to do so.
Thursday, April 16, 2009 at 3:44 am
I read your blog for quite a long time and should tell you that your articles are always valuable to readers.