Ridiculous New Age Therapies #2
Quantum BioEnergetic Balancing Technique™. Or something.
I don’t know what the hell this is. Maybe it’s the poor writing or maybe I’m just too stupid to comprehend; I have no freakin idea what the fuck this woman is on about. Is it the crazy use of different font sizes and random italicizing? Is it the hideous maroon background messing with my rods and cones? Is there really a “DNA matrix” that vibrates within all of us? No. It’s just a crock of bullshit that this bitch with her “double degree in science” made up. Plain and simple.
Obviously a regular career in science doesn’t pay enough so you have to resort to drastic measures to earn some cash:
These palpable frequencies, readily available to all of us,
are initiated during your healing session, and continue to work long
after your session is completed, for however long your body requires.
Dictated by the cellular response of the individual, a healing tailored
by your own body, ensues. And you will experience healing like never before… from Within.
What hell does that mean? Can anybody understand it or is it just me?
[Notice that 'within' has a capital letter. This makes it a proper noun and therefore gives it more credibility. New Age freaks love to overuse capital letters at random for words they deem important. I know this because I used to be the editor of a bullshit New Age publication.]
But this bit is gold:
Vibratory medicine is not a new concept to the planet.
You got that bit right, sister. Just ask any woman about the benefits of “vibratory medicine”. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.
Back in the 1930s Rife did extraordinary trials with frequency therapy, with great success.
Okay, who the fuck is Rife? And where is your proof of this success? Rife is right. Rife with bullshit. Rife with ripping people off with something you just made up.
Next we have something known as the Axial Initiation™. No matter how many times I read this, I still don’t know what it is. Allegedly it “brings
in and re-establishes axiatonal lines that enable us to standardise
unique vibratory levels and frequencies for healing and ultimately, for
our own personal evolution. These axiatonal lines are part of a
parallel-dimensional circulatory system, connecting to the human energy
anatomy, that draws the basic energy for the renewal functions of the
human body.“
WHAT THE FUCK?
Your science jargon doesn’t fool me, lady. I’m onto you and your mumbo jumbo. I think at this stage of the proceedings I might start believing in god. It seems far more plausible right now. And a lot less sinister.
21 Comments
Thursday, January 31, 2008 at 9:43 pm
G’day,
I googled Melissa Hocking after meeting her and found this page.
I’m a grad student with majors in Theoretical Physics, Astrophysics, Maths and most recently – Psychology. Yeah I love to study. I came across Melissa’s name via a few internet page connections after reading some papers by a well respected Psychology Professor – Gary E. Schwartz (you should look up his bio it’s pretty impressive). In Gary’s writings was a mention of BioEnergetics, and being passionate about particle physics and group (gauge) theories I thought to look into it further. After finding a number of published papers and accepted studies about the magnetic fields around the body induced by the human body (ie. via SQUID interferometer), I decided this BioEnergetics stuff was worth a quick look into. I googled the word and found Melissa and her ‘Quantum BioEnergetics’ site in my home city of Melbourne so I set about arranging an appointment to interrogate her (particularly about Quantum Physics relation to this). After a long 2hr chat with her, and a following 2hr meeting, this is what I have found:
There is definitely ’something’ going on here. After 10 minutes of first meeting her she asked me to put my hand out and waved her hands around it, about a foot away, and at first there was just a light breeze, but soon to my shock and disbelief my hand started throbbing and vibrating so badly I had to take it away. I am aware from my Psychological training that psychosomatic reactions are possible, but in this instance she gave me no indication of what was going to happen or warning. I am confident it was a physical and not a psychological effect.
I have subsequently organized to do a project in conjunction with Psychology at Deakin university for my honors year on the efficacy of Melissa’s Quantum BioEnergetics in treating depressed and bipolar patients. This study will be as objective and scientific as a study can be. It will be very interesting to see the results.
I have also begun to delve back into Particle Physics, advance Quantum and String theory for parallels between this mysterious energy interaction and current modern paradigms. The new particle accelerator in CERN Switzerland is likely to shed more light on the matter (looking at completion end of this year). There are a number of unconfirmed but highly likely theories that suggest different interacting force particles (ie. Z’ bosons), 5 or more dimensions (and importantly standing energy waves in these dimensions) and frequency theories of matter (String theory).
Obviously I still have no idea how this all fits together or relates to Melissa’s work but from my current knowledge and recent research it seems there is a high possibility of connecting modern western science to Melissa’s gift. Admittedly I am still confused as to how Quantum physics is so relevant to her ‘healing frequencies’ but I have questioned her on this, with my logic behind it, and am waiting for her to get back to me. What is going on appears to be very practical and physical, but also very unexplainable by mainstream western science and despite all of Melissa’s efforts (she is a very intelligent lady) I believe she still does not have ‘much’ idea what exactly is going on in terms of science. That’s ok though – it would take a lot of effort and advanced testing to more forward towards finding out, but that does not mean it cannot be done (or will not be done in the near future). I actually left the field of Theoretical Physics, after completing an honors project, because the farther I went into it – the more aware I was that what 99.9% of people take for fact, is actually just our best efforts (the number of unexplainable anomalies and vast and henceforth explained by new theories that don’t sync up perfectly with the first) at explaining phenomena after heading off in an initial direction, and determined to continue in that direction. If Albert Einstein hadn’t concluded E = mc^2 but had come up with a completely different rule to describe the same phenomena (maybe not even relating to mass and energy but something else we now would call ‘New Age Nonsense’) and science had proceeded along after that point – Melissa’s work would be the science and particle physics ideas would be the ‘nonsense’. What I am saying is that after going deeply into the area of logic and phenomenology from a number of directions that anything is possible and modern science is doing it’s best to describe reality, but it’s best really aint that great.
After that ‘vibrating hand’ incident I’m convinced ‘something’ is going on and I’m determined to find out what it is – in terms of modern science. I am very much looking forward to some evidence of Melissa’s healings, such as scans showing cancer before treatment and scans showing no cancer after treatment. I am also looking forward to my own study’s results, and further research into the connection between ‘Quantum BioEnergetics’ and western science.
Now after saying all of that, I am aware you probably wrote that response to her book almost entirely in a single minded attempt at creating comedic value so I will not reprimand you for your narrow mindedness. I suppose I put the effort into writing this because after meeting Melissa I know that she is a person doing her best in the situation of very strange things happening around her and is in no way “resort(ing) to drastic measures to earn some cash”. I’ll leave you with the advice that it would be wise in the future to look more thoroughly into something before you criticize.
Monday, March 17, 2008 at 3:33 am
“Western science”? There is no western science. There is science. Science produces results which can be measured and reproduced. If you can’t measure it and reproduce it then it isn’t science. Call it something else. You may have experienced something when you met this woman, but for now you offer nothing but anecdotal evidence, which can not be proven, measured or reproduced. Anecdotal evidence proves nothing. I’m not trying to be hard but people misuse words all the time. And scientists cringe and get very wary when people say “western science” or “eastern science”; it’s like saying “western physics” or “far east chemistry”. The rules of physics don’t change in China. Or Canada. And the way this woman wrote is very unscientific; it is pseudoscientific and I believe worthy of ridicule.
Peace.
Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 12:52 am
Come on Jay it’s not about word games, science can’t even explain what gravity is ! & I mean that literally, but it says it’s there. Not everything is black and white buddy. I think it’s comical that mainstream scientists tend to say things like wow there is water on mars so therefore there must be life there. Who says there has to be similar life on Mars as there is on Earth ? Who it necessarily need water or that we could even see or measure it ? Think outside the square ! People who never think outside the quare discover nothing.
Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 12:58 am
Come on Jay it’s not about word games, science can’t even explain what gravity is ! & I mean that literally, but it says it’s there. Not everything is black and white buddy. I think it’s comical that mainstream scientists tend to say things like “wow there is water on mars so therefore there must be life on Mars”. Who says there has to be similar life on Mars as there is on Earth ? Who says life on Mars necessarily needs water or that we could even see or measure the life ? Think outside the square ! People who never think outside the square discover nothing.
Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Hi…practicing microbiologist here (with enough coursework to have qualified as a minor in astronomy), I’m with Jay 100%. Fiona…you’re not a scientist and i’m quite willing to bet you’ve never set one foot in a physics or advanced chemistry lab outside high school. We have instrumentation that can measure emissions on all EM wavelengths…and unless Melissa had a high amp infrasound emitter crammed up her sleeve I don’t see how she could make your hand vibrate. Also to Jay, TY TY TY for addressing this idiotic tendency to think that “western” science is some sort of cultural artifact, it’s not, if it was our advanced engineering fundamentally couldn’t function. At our present stage of development, trial and error doesn’t cut it. I’m approaching this from a practical standpoint as abstractions rarely make a dent in New Age mysticism. If our interpretations of how the universe functions were wrong to some major degree we wouldn’t be able to communicate with our deep space probes, nor would their passive RTG reactors function. We wouldn’t be able to create novel elements in particle accelerators or predict the formation anomalous features in space such as singularities, blazars, or the more exotic forms of supernovae. In short, science and the scientific method is verified whenever practical engineering is applied based on its findings. Let me repeat this…If we were fundamentally wrong, technological civilization couldn’t function. I might add, phenomenology despite the words scientific appearance and sound is a theological and philosophical viewpoint and is about as scientifically verifiable as the Book of Revelations.
As to Kevin…uh, yeah, we do know what gravity is, we can measure its effect on photon pathways and its corresponding blue or red shifting. Its a geometric product of mass bending space-time. I’ll stop there, unlike some people I don’t feel comfortable spouting off nice sounding gibberish on subject matters outside my expertise. However that definition will be given to you in any undergraduate level astronomy course. So uh, yeah, we do know what gravity is. Furthermore i’ve never read *anyone* that said that because water is present on Mars there must be life, or that if life is there it will be similar in form to life found on Earth. Finding water on Mars greatly increases the chance life might be there, even moreso if subsurface liquid water is found. But by no means is that a guarantee, being as we have no metric to compare Earth to we don’t know how often the development of life occurs (thus why the Drake equation is still only framework and not practical) nor are we quite sure yet at what point Mars last had a considerable amount of liquid water. I’d also like to address that snide little aside about how we can even expect what to find. Life can only occur in a limited number of ways, this is not for some spiritual or mystical reason but just a matter of pure chemistry. Any development of life is going to favor carbon based macromolecules similar in function to proteins in a water solvent. The reason is simple, carbon can form 4 bonds, no other common element can do that, that means it can react MANY different ways, and can form triple covalent bonds allowing great bond strength.
The only other contender molecule is Nitrogen, however nitrogen only forms 3 bonds, thus it can form far fewer structures than carbon can. Nitrogen based proteins would be at a great disadvantage compared to carbon based proteins, not the least of which would be great differences in energy of activaction in enzyme catalysis (and no this is not technobabble, google it if you wish). Finally, water is the best known solvent, it can act as both and acid and a base (called a zwitterion…holy crap I actually remembered that, pinky swear I didn’t look it up) hydrocarbon based solvents (Hexane being a major one) don’t have nearly the reactivity of water, and lack the ability to dissolve (and thus transport) a great many compounds that would be necessary for *ANY* sort of metabolism. So basically, carbon based life using a liquid water solvent is the most energy efficient form we’re going to find. Considering how prevalent carbon, oxygen, and hydrogen are in the universe, the odds for nitrogen based life succeeding over carbon based are pretty damn low.
ok, well I guess thats about it. Later all, oh yeah, there is ONE nitrogen based alien lifeform I would consider…Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at 3:49 am
Ok brainiaks can any of you tell me where memory is located in the brain?
As no one has been able to answer this and it is 2008, I would say that there may be a possibility that Melissa is on to something. As a layman, I’m not sure how you would test Melissa, however just because some things cannot be explained by science does not mean they are ”New Age Bullshit”
If there is the smallest of possibilities that this woman can actually help people and furthermore if she is sincere I think further investigation is warranted. It must be easy sitting on the sidelines throwing rocks at her instead of actually finding out for yourself. I just think being a little open minded to Spiritual possibilities would not hurt ones ego, ooops what did I just hear?
Oh it was the sound of someones mind closing.
I’m leaving my ego out of this . I love the guys that want proof all the time, let me throw you a challenge and make, prove it aint possible; and ah Good Luck with All That!
Thursday, July 31, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Well, my guess is that Fiona is in fact Melissa. Big coincidence that you just happen to be in her home city Melbourne – I am not even on the same continent. Also big coincidence that the first entry is a very long article in her defence …
No real scientist would write in that style – all the jargon designed to impress but no insight.
Obviously the body radiates a magnetic field but so what? So does my fridge. It may even be that Melissa has a real gift (apart from relieving, er, clients, of their money) but if she does it will be a million miles away from magnetic fields and known scientific principles and will involve something else. Why wrap it up in pseudo scientific bullshit?
I would be far more impressed if these people would say something like “I will levitate for one hour on the steps of Melbourne Town Hall at 1.00pm on 1st August 2008. I don’t have a clue how but I will do it”.
Or “I can foretell the future and now own the world’s biggest yacht which is called The Psychobabble and is parked right here – see photo”
Or “I can heal you of your cancer and am so confident that here is $50,000 which you can keep if you are not cured within 4 weeks ”
If you have a gift it should not be difficult to demonstrate it up front so let’s see the yacht or the $50,000 or the levitation or whatever. Until then as far as I am concerned it is a sick trick to con the gullible.
Friday, October 31, 2008 at 9:03 pm
he he funny mike
Sunday, November 30, 2008 at 6:48 pm
This lady is false. she does not understand the modern physics which I studied in university. She claims frequency can make you be healed. The only incident i know of frequency “healing” something is a microwave “curing” my Обед
Sunday, November 30, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Fiona? 4 majors of concentration? I think you are full of shit. Solve me some second order differential equations in regards to a Theoretical Physics problem to prove it.
I bet you don’t even know who Ampere or Gauss was. I doubt this stupid new age lady knew basic laws of electromagnetic waves and oscillations, let alone basic laws of physics.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 10:22 am
Maybe this is all real.
Maybe this is all bullshit.
Most of it depends on the unknown.
So why invest your time/money in the unknown?
Because it might be real or it at least make you feel good?
Good luck with that, sucker…
Tuesday, January 6, 2009 at 2:28 am
there’s only one science, its either sumething is real or not and real not subjective reality. bring it to the lab, lets test it over and over with the same results. the brain can do a lot of tricks and these new age pricks pissoff to a level of losing reality if you take them seriously.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Hmm. Not being an academic myself I obviously cannot speculate on the validity of ‘Fiona’s’ or Melissa’s claims. Maybe we could approach it the same way we do with everything else? Are there any genuine papers on the issue sponsored by a university that someone’s heard of? As someone else has already said, can we repeat the experiments detailed in these papers and come to the same results/conclusions? Surely if Melissa Hocking has a gift that can heal serious diseases like cancer, and she cares so much about everyone she could provide her services for free?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 at 1:09 pm
The sad part of this sort of thing is that it tends to attract those who can least afford it and who have run out of alternatives. The ‘New Age’ movement has managed to contort itself from being something ‘alternative’ to that which is very much like the thing it most despises, that being a manipulative, self anointed purveyor of biased truths. It’s also chalked full of narcissists which I dare say is hardly surprising.
Saturday, May 16, 2009 at 7:04 am
Agreed.
Sunday, April 5, 2009 at 8:15 am
“I just think being a little open minded to Spiritual possibilities would not hurt ones ego, ooops what did I just hear?
Oh it was the sound of someones mind closing.
I’m leaving my ego out of this . I love the guys that want proof all the time, let me throw you a challenge and make, prove it aint possible; and ah Good Luck with All That!”
Hey, what did I just hear?
Oh, I think it was the sound of someone’s ego screaming.
I’ve explored some new age practices. For example, I’ve looked for help with insomnia because I don’t like taking ambien and chamomile tea isn’t enough. I found a new age specialist-of-sorts who claimed that she could help me to the tune of $350 a session.
The thing that bothers me most about *many* (note, I didn’t say “all”) of the new age practitioners I’ve met: raging hypocrisy!
I freely admit that I have an ego (in the new age sense, at least). And when I see a blue car, I say, “That car is blue.” Or if I had a shitty day, I’ll say, “Wow, I had a really shitty day.” And since my grandma insults me every time we get together, I say, “My grandma is mean!” It frustrates the living HELL out of me when people tell me I’m “judging” every time I use a fucking adjective!
Of course I’m judging! I admit it. But when you tell people that they’re “judging”, what do you think YOU’RE doing? When you tell people that they’re locked inside their egos and stuck on the lowest possible rung of the spiritual ladder, what do you think YOU’RE doing?
Just this week, I got a really cranky e-mail from somebody over a small misunderstanding. (I won’t go into details). But anyway, she told me I was a liar, that I’d disappointed her, and that I was giving off bad energy (?). And then she finished the fucking e-mail with “namaste”!!
It was a simple miscommunication that didn’t cause any damage to anyone or anything. I offered to rectify the situation and asked her to let me know what I could do to help. I really wanted to write, “I hope you choke on an alpha wave,” but I didn’t.
Thing is, though, I never claim to be striving toward “enlightenment”. I’m fallible, I judge, I get annoyed, and I have trouble believing things without good evidence… which is why I couldn’t really except What the Bleep.
I’m no better or worse than anyone else, but if I’m an asshole, I’m just an asshole. I’m not an asshole AND a hypocrite.
/rant. I’m sorry for going off on such a tangent, but ugh. I just don’t get this stuff.
Thursday, April 30, 2009 at 4:06 am
I’ve watched ‘What The Bleep Do We Know’ and I’ve just recently watched ‘Rabbit Hole Edition’. So, I did a Google search for “is quantum physics bullshit” and was lead to this article.
I’m even less likely to believe all of this quantum physics hullabaloo now that I’ve watched these movies. In fact, it almost seemed like they were trying to get religious believers more than anything. As if to say that quantum physics is simply a stepping stone between the theistic and scientific worlds. “Once we convert all the religious nuts to quantum physics, we can get on with our real work.” Strange conspiracy theory, I know, just something that popped into my head.
To be honest though, I don’t know all that much about the study of conventional physics, let alone this new kind, but when I am told in summary that the world is much more mystical than I can possibly understand and that the very act of ANY observation negates an experiment, I’m less than inclined to believe it.
I listened carefully when they specified the parameters of some of the experiments they supposedly performed. Maybe I could replicate some of these experiments. They seemed easy enough. After thinking about it for a moment, in fact, a few of the experiments they talked about seem extremely easy to reproduce. After thinking only a few moments more I realized that the expected results would make no sense to occur and therefore I could not expect them to occur. But low and behold! I must be influencing the experiment by my observation! The fact that I don’t expect the outcome–these people might say–would directly cause the outcome not to occur. Which is fine for me, but if you come over to my house and perform these apparently easy to reproduce experiments with your own expectations and they yield positive results I might be more inclined to believe you. I expect, however, that I would be told that my expectations of a negative result would still influence the results. Unless of course the experiment is successful, if by random circumstances, but I would expect that they would take full credit for the positive result and make excuses for the negative ones.
This is not science to me. We do experimentation to influence our understanding of the world, not the other way around. Through the entire movie they harped on how it is just impossible to prove any of this stuff through observation and experimentation, and yet in the next breath, they quote experiments that yield promising results for their explanations. Huh? I would think a double blind experiment would be able to prove some of this nonsense. Oh wait, they’ve already done maybe thousands of double blind experiments to test things like physic ability with no positive results.
I’m not saying Quantum Physics is bullshit. What I am saying is that the Quantum Physics that was introduced to me from these movies at least seems like complete and utter bullshit.
Prove me wrong.
Friday, May 1, 2009 at 12:15 pm
we don’t know how ECT exactly works for major depression – knowledge and research continues but we know frequency certainly has major impact on brain architecture and neurotransmitter pathways
I’m not a scientist, but I am a nurse surrounded by science on a day to day basis
being a nurse gives the benefit of being able to think critically(with great scepticism) but also being broad minded that we don’t know all the answers and science can’t always explain
otherwise glad to have found your blog – I’m always up for a bit of a rant against the injustice and general crappiness of things
Monday, July 20, 2009 at 4:36 am
A man after my own heart, cheers dude!
Monday, July 27, 2009 at 9:20 am
Thank you for making me laugh. Ahh, another person (and several others judging from the comments) who are tired of the New Age nonsense. There is no limit to the circus. I just learned a friend is spending 2 hours 3 Xs week doing transmission meditation: hooked up by silver wires to a triangle in which a silver and gold disc sit. Idea is to filter energy the Masters are sending through Chakras, for the benefit of mankind.
sigh. I’m tired.
Friday, September 18, 2009 at 9:59 pm
“Obviously a regular career in science doesn’t pay enough so you have to resort to drastic measures to earn some cash:”
Its all about money! These shysters (trolls) are ever on the prowl for spamming forums and blogs with ads proclaiming the utility of their products.”
http://socyberty.com/spirituality/new-age-shysters/